The Endless Journey Of Life

From The Eyes Of This Crazy Lion

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I just haven't been active on here much, so I figured "Hey, lets update this blog."  So Its been alittle over a year since I've joined the Michigan furs website under "Ninjalion." Last February, I managed to go out with my first guy in the fall. He was a Rottweiler, and he is a great guy. Unfortunately, it ended and I took it kind of hard. Eventually I got over it; We're friends now, so I'm happy that it ended up the way it did. I met some very interesting furs on the site, its really like breathing a breath of fresh air as its nice to be chatting and getting to know new people for real. Check out the site sometime.

Life is going well, I guess you know...I've really changed allot. I noticed that when my dad came up from Tennessee to visit, and I happened to remember that mindset I fell into when I was with my dad. It was nice to have that feeling that it is possible to really change. He is so obsessed with getting me to move down with him though. He ignored me when I told him, "I'm actually planning to move to Ann Arbor." one time. He kept going on about coming down here. He says he just wants me to visit, but he is also scheming on getting me to live down in Tennessee. So I can work on cars, go get a job, and go to church to be saved. He didn't tell me all of this, but I seem pretty good at getting into people's heads, so I'm rolling with it. However, there is one more thing. My dad probably had the dream of having a son and living life like it is, my mom and dad had a vision for me. Everything was pure, and it was gonna be complete, because life would seem much better with someone you thought you love, and a baby coming way. Then reality hit, and things just didn't really work out I guess. Now back to the present: Your son is 20 years old, and he is looking to move away from family. He acts like he doesn't want to come see you because hes more focused on meeting people on the internet. Hes meeting and getting to know people that will completely stand against the views of yours, and the views you raised him with. For what? Acceptance, for love? He'll be back.

What I want is to meet new people, I'm open to new views unless I disagree. I'll let them know if I totally think they're being unscrupulous, but thats just me. The government is not the problem, its these plastic bitches that run the government, getting the ignorant masses to vote them in office, is whats the real problem. (Wow, random Anti politics ftw!) Dad, I love you its just that I'm not interested in living with you.

I've been chilling, playing games, and hanging out with friends lately. Things seems to be making more sense to me, and I'm getting into a new view. I'm becoming more like the person I've dreamed of becoming day by day. what I'm listening too.

Light And Dark.
Paint Lion.
Swimming through this expanding dark Abyss. I'm feeling very cold from the mixture of the water from below, and the air from above. My mental health, doesn't feel so well. And when I keep going, it feels like living is irrelevant, when death is the final element, in all our physical environments. Death and life can exist...But not forever, eternity seems so...Overused. And my mind keeps going nuts, this place isn't what It seems and its filled with lies, and hate.

My bright light has shadows in my sights....And when it goes dark, light is bright right here. And I feel voices fighting in my mind tonight, In my mind tonight. Sometimes it feels like I'm all alone, and other times I feel like another genetic clone. Facing hardships in my life. Then there always seems like theres that revealing dream, and no matter how much I gleam. I feel like a dark one so it seems. And, when I go with it, its the opposite story. And I just feel, like a Lion fighting a war from the inside!

Sometimes it feels like people just jump on in, to aid me in this fight that I'm in. And I wish they wouldn't because I don't want them to get hurt from my personal destruction that I'm causing, to myself. And I see you, and you, and you. Looking down because of that is what I do. Now I feel like I'm here, to give some kind of hope. A truth that is gotta stay right here, from now till the end of time. Its just I feel like I can't talk all the time, because actions are much louder to me.

I guess a balance of light and dark, are a great combination. Whats good is known from evil, and evil from good. Our minds were always capable of E....Vil...And I feel exhausted, as I lay on this ground. I'm looking up to the star filled sky, seeing planets in bright lights, Feeling like I can grow wings like a Dragon and fly. It just fades out eventually, and I fall into another dream...2

The Disbelief Is Still A Belief.
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Something seems to be changing in the midst of the summer, of course thats obvious...But what ever. It sounds cool to me, silence! I have a picture of a few things, and I'm just hoping it falls in place. Everything and anything will be scouted and figured out, and everyone and everywhere is someone and somewhere, (hehehe). Meh, silly me....

The whole Anubis broke down and went out of the door. I don't really know what to traditionally believe anymore, but what I believe is just currently an ongoing process. its just...Just that allot of these worldly beliefs are all sorts of wrong. Atheists your in this one too... The Atheists out there that put their faith in science, yet have no scientific background, or have any mind to give the data. And they just go about, putting down other's beliefs and backing up something that they so desperately put their faith in. Just because they have their links, and are pretty damn sure about their stance is 100% fact. (Even though they can be wrong for the solemn fact that their human, and mostly going off words.)  If your an Athiest, yet your something like a physicist, a Chemist, or something like that. Then I will take you seriously. Take FPS Russia for example, sure not a scientist. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't belive in a spiritual thing, whatever At least hes giving conclusive video evidence about how guns work. He's at least providing facts. Don't believe me? Go to youtube and search up FPS Russia.

Enough about the whole Belief process, I don't need to go on about this anymore. So I'm working to get into a band, its defiantly a start, and we have a very long way to go. Its gonna be with a fellow fur I'm gonna meet soon. Really though, I hope we can become good friends Irl. I'm optimistic about that happening.

And do you like Game music redone? Wanna hear what I've been listening? Give this Woofle a check,

I personally love his FFIV cover, which I'm listening to right now. May all go well with you.

My Time Here Is Running Out.
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So I've been up all night thinking, well...Playing video games, and muilti tasking, but still I'm thinking. I ended up getting in a conversation, that ended from the oppisite of a sensation. It was about dreams and what not. I told him about spirits hitting me up, going about "Ey ninja whatsup?" Its one of the small ways on how I get by, whether or not its an obscurity to you or me, it reminds me of I could be dead. I just wanna preach silence, but, for me its kind of hard, people telling me certian things about their reactions, to my way, and this one's reaction was that he left. Not a goodbye, just gone. I guess thats the way I am. No one seems to understand, they say they do. And relate that they do, but they don't know whats true. I can't trust you, don't ask me why. I've always been the way I am.
I've told people to walk away, because  the insainty inside tends sway. You might disagree, but your wrong. Don't try to debate it, we're not open for buisness. Don't you see the sign? "Will come back never."

I try to see were you coming from, while at the same time show you my views. Now I feel its just useless. I've been told I'm unapproachable to many times, yet these ignorant nitwits try to talk about me infront of me, like im invisible, what the hell they scared of? Afraid and now estatic that they found a way to keep them on my nice side, pfft yeah right. Look at me wanting to really fight you. I'm trying so hard to make it, genetics or not, I give it all that I got. But your making it hard, I can feel the worst of me come right on out. But theres no need to shout, I'll ignore you because I'm better than whom you can ever be, minion. Whatchu know about my mind, you mother fucking bitch? Stick with your own thoughts.

Its increasing my probability of death. It keeps ticking and tocking, it keeps sinking and sliding. It doesn't matter how I do things, the outcomes the same. Eventally you will speak of my name in past tense. Thats something not needing a sixth sense. Thats just the works of the way, it gets closer each and every day. Every hour, minute, every milisecound. Now I walk away, I don't need your help. I'm gonna fall anyway, I'm gonna stand up because thats just me. If I can't do it, then I better not stop trying.

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Are you a furry?
Yes, in my standards. And thats all that matters.

If you have a Spouse/SO - Is he/she a furry too?
I've had none

How long have you been in the community?How did you find furry?
I find out about the community somewhere between 05-07. Lurked around till late 09, (Edit, late 08) when I started this journal, and pretty much went on from there.
What's your reason for furry (what interested you to get into the community)?
The art, the yiff, the people that had this internet presence about them made me wanna meet a few. Pretty much means that this was the right thing for me to do.
What's Furry to you?
Where can I start?
If someone found out you're a furry and asked you about it how would you respond?
"Yeah I'm furry, why do you ask?"
What are your favorite aspects of our community?
The whole community is very inspirational to me,  some of the furs on here, MIfurs, and just seeing that allot of artists, music or just talking about their lives is what gets me. Whether it be good or bad feelings, smart or stupid, or w/e. I've actually felt allot more empowered than I have before.
Do you use any furry terms? (i.e. yiff, paws, murr?)
What do you wish furry was NOT associated with?
The saying about "Furries are the scum of the internet." Or just things that stupid ass hoes, like to draw to the minds of ignorant people, making us look inferior. But, that really doesn't bother me, theres always "Education." To set these people straight.
How strongly do you feel about someone bashing the community as a whole?
Makes me laugh a bit, haters are only tools.
How strongly do you feel about anyone bashing you yourself for your interest based on the media's aspect of what furry is?
I laugh most of the time, because those haters don't know me, even though one thing that gets to me is, I think most of my friends have lost respect for me for being furry, that aspect pissed me off just a little bit.
We all know furries have a lot of sexual aspects in this fandom, What's your opinion on it?
People are gonna do what they're gonna do. I don't have an opinion about this, I hate opinions. I only want the truth.

What is/are your fursona(s)?
Pretty much an African Lion, Anthro or not, hes pretty much my alter ego.
Do you have any fetishes that pertain to the fandom?
I don't know, I don't know what I can put a fetish.
If you could magically morph into your fursona would you?
Hell yes, powerranger Lion style, or just Lion. Perma morph, yes...
Do you believe you have a spirit animal?
Yeah, I believe in them. I still have allot to learn about it though. I can't really talk about this anymore, because I don't really have much to talk about. I still need to find the right words to describe this, check back another time.
What other fanbases/groups are you a part of?
I don't know
Anthro/Feral, Therian or Kemonomimi (Not a furry, just a human with animal ears and a tail)?
Anthro, mostly.

Are you a fursuiter? If yes, how many do you own? If No, do you ever plan on being a suiter?
How many of your friends are furry?
Maybe 4 or 5
How many pets do you own, if any?
Don't anger me...

Aside from furry what other interests do you have?
My interests are in my profile, silly :P
Are you confident enough in yourself to say that you're a fur, no matter what the media says?
I'm confidant in myself in general.

Do you attend any cons? If no, would you attend any cons? If yes, which cons have you been to?
No and yes I would.

Do you go to local meetups (bowling, public outings...etc)?
Not yet.

Have you ever attended a furry party? If no, would you attend one?
Not yet.
Have you ever met up with a fur you talked to online?
I've met two furs last month.
What furry websites do you attend?
Furaffinity, Mifurs, occasional sites here and there.

What non furry websites do you frequent?

Has the fandom done anything for you that you're thankful for? Has it taught you anything or brought you anything you treasure greatly?
The people within really helped me out, I always thought I was pretty open minded, though I do have tendencies to be completly closed minded. I guess from the most part, was for me to scout other stuff out there in the world. So I feel allot more open to new ideas than before, I guess one thing I can anticipate on how you, (The ones who were there when I was starting out.) is that my vocabulary and spelling has really upgraded since I started this blog. And started putting music, and drumbeats on my furaffinity. Other than that, I've pretty much learned allot from this.

Stolen from:d_l_leonine 
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Really enjoyed the trip out to Ann Arbor, and Flint. I met some really good people, and I managed to find out a whole new experience. Someone once told me that this South Korea trip was going to leave a huge impression on my life. In a sense it has, it just wasn't the same impact I took on this one. In a better sense. I guess it was just the whole mindset of, scouting the U of M, and going to meet furries IRL for the first time really was a special thing to me.

I was so nervous, I was tempted in canceling the trip. Theres no need to explain why, I'm sure you already know that reason, pretty obvious really. And well, going to Flint is also a big deal as well. (Go figure, they have a very beautifully built hospital as well.) But thats not important.

Whats important is, well...Everything regarding this trip. As someone who has been to another country, and out of state on some occasions. All it took was a three hour train ride across to the east of Michigan to really make a huge impression. First time I went on my own to meet new people.

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Today I am going to Ann Arbor to meet some furs and scout the Collage. And btw, I've never been this nervous before. I mean, I can ride down a mountain on the skateboard and fall from said mountain and be fine. But, this is getting to me hahaha. Here goes nothing...

The Hawk.
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The sun rises today embark of a new era lighting the world below that's beautiful yet so sinister sometimes. The Hawk soaring over the land down below, lays folks of all trades. Their might of some will collapse within weeks, maybe days.  Bravery is only known through fear. Real honor is only known from shame. Inner Strength is earned from facing your weaknesses. The past is an outstanding teacher...

Operation; Ann Arbor.
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So my secret plan that I wrote about a couple months ago is going to be a secret no more. I will be pushing to go to the University Of Michigan. Lets be realistic here, I'm looking at a little chance of getting in. I wanna say I have a 10% chance of getting in at most. But, its something that I must attempt. I had a really good person try to talk me into a online college, and it all seemed great. But, I happened to know someone who teaches at Western Michigan, and he told me about how fake that one school is. Though I have a hard time trusting him. Lets look at it like this, going to Western or better yet the U of M would be better for me because, idk....Its just right.

I've been wanting to go to Michigan since I was a little boy about 3 or 4. Its just something I have to do because this is big, and I wanna make it big. I applied today, and tried going for Music and Technology, and Musical Theater. Yes Western is a better chance, and the professor is trying to get me to go. And though, I've been there. And really admire the city of Kalamazoo, the campus, and the way Western Works. I want to give this dream a shot, I have dreams of facing Ohio State on the football feild, and I also want to study there. I will be taking a train to Ann Arbor, so I can scope the campus out, and also scout out the town.

So this is what has been on my mind lately, and all my depressive tendencies show sometimes, but I just tell myself. "Oh stfu you fucking bitch." To shoot them down. And its been working quite well I might add. I have high expectations for myself, and I expect this to go through. I met a graduate student who is an Otter/Gryphon, and I hope he'll help me with providing information about it. I gotta do this, its a must that I get in there. I will not relent, I will put in all my effort to do this. Fuck failure, it is not an option for me.

Good song.

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The laser gun, males and females it is real.

Oh, how cute.Collapse )


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